i dont know

where am i heading?

I don't know..

why am i down on this road?

getting far and far 

but never reach the point.

what am i doing?

I dont know..

why am I up for this thing?

going wrong and wrong

but never make it right

Mean

You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded

You, pickin' on the weaker man

Well, you can take me down with just one single blow

But you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation

You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them

I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road

And you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion but nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing

But all you are is mean

All you are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alone in life

And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah

Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city

(Why you gotta be so mean?)

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

(Why you gotta be so mean?)

Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

(Why you gotta be so mean?)

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Taylor Swift

Get It Right

what have i done?

i wish i could run

away from this ship going under

just trying to help

hurt everyone else

now i feel the weight of the world is

on my shoulders

what can you do 

when your good isn't good enough

and all that you touch tumbles down

cause my best intentions 

keep making a mess of things 

just wanna fix it somehow

how many will it take for me

to get it right

can i start again

with my faith shaken

cause i cant go back and undo this

i just have to stay

and face my mistakes

but if i get stronger and wiser

ill get through this

what can you do 

when your good isn't good enough

and all that you touch tumbles down

how many will it take for me

to get it right

so i throw up my fists

throw a punch in the air

and accept the truth 

that sometimes life isn't fair

i'll send up a wish

i'll send up a prayer

then finally someone will see how much i care

Lea Michelle

(Rachel Berry)

prologue of SPEAK NOW

Real life is funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing in the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I’ve begun to fear than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.

I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moment we didn’t speak up. When we didn’t say ‘I love you’. When we should’ve said ‘I’m sorry’. When we didn’t stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help.

These songs are made up of words I didn’t say when the moment was right in front of me. These songs are open letters. Each is written with a specific person in mind, telling them what I meant to tell them in person. To the beautiful boy whose heart I broke in December. To my first love who I never thought would be my first heartbreak. To my band. To a mean man that I used to be afraid of. To someone who made my world very dark for a while. To a girl who stole something of mine. To someone I forgive for what he said in front of the whole world.

Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them all back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you’ll regret more than one left unsaid are the ones you used to intentionally hurt someone.

What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.

So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying ‘I could’ve, but it’s too late now’.

There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel and you clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it.

I don’t think you should wait. I think you should SPEAK NOW.

                                                                                                                                                              Taylor Swift "SPEAK NOW"

Holding My Words

people are talking 

but i remain in silent

let the people talking

because you can never stop them

if you storm at them 

the others are rumbling as well

there will be more people talking

silence doesn't mean you've lost of words

it doesn't even mean you're unable to speak up for yourself

doesn't mean you're afraid of saying as well

in fact my mouth if full of words

just waiting for the moment to explode

but in any situation
you have to spend some time to think
what you gonna say
what would happen if you spill it out
you have to see the pros and cons
look at the goods and bads
otherwise you will fool yourself
or you may look like an idiot one day

there's a quote

'speak now or forever hold'

i choose hold

probably forever

because words are like knives and swords

that can hurt and kill
other people or yourself

the truth can kill someone's trust 

truth can hurt someones heart

i'm not a terrorist

not a killer or murderer 

so let them speak

and i remain calm and patient

because we don't know what's ahead us

i believe that all good things

will come to those who wait

patience might be bitter

but its fruit is sweet

and i believe in this

Proposal Presentation

Hello there...
couple months i didn't write...
what bringing me down here today is just to update this blog..
imma telling bout yesterday...
PRESENTATION for ma FYP' proposal...

me was a 2nd presenter..
for the day 1...
i'd been scheduled to present at 8.30am
just finished the proposal that morning...
havent had enough sleep..
cause i just got back the evening before that day..
from Kudat..drove all the way from-to KK..
such a tiring one..
and i was finishing the slideshow after getting back..
all night long i've stayed up..
i was like crazy..
just had an hour nap..

the presentation day..
really nervous..
but i was pretty well speaking..
somehow, it wasnt pretty good after that...
they'd questioning my title which is not my title anymore..
i'd change my title before the presentation..
but on their list it written there the other title which the one not being corrected..
the real title is GEOTHERMAL WATER EXPLORATION instead of POTENTIAL of GEOTHERMAL
the potential of geothermal sounds too big and difficult to do..
so they asked me to change it..the real is i've already changed it...
but i say nothing..just nodded my head... they ask me to change referring to the former title.. not the one i stated in the slide...
and they questioned me how to know the temperature of the hot water...
i said by using resistivity..
they reply it is used to distinguish the rock formation..not to determine the temperature..
i answered -by doing chemical analysis..
that's it...but it's better to change the title, they suggests...
in my head there's no use for arguing cause in this presentation, they trying to help and make it better..
so that we can do some improvement..
anyway i'll discuss with SV...mr Sahat..

argghh..it is boring huh..my writing...heee
see u then...some other time...
~~~